An important thing to remember when going through a divorce is that feelings serve a purpose but are not fact. Feelings are based on our inner reality while facts are shared observations over time.
It may be impossible to completely separate thought from emotion but humans can see things subjectively (emotion) and objectively (mind). It is an amazing ability.
Your inner, subjective reality is based on history, culture, education, beliefs, and environment. It is a long nerve that holds all the experiences, remembered or not, of your life. If something touches on a memory that is attached to this nerve, the feelings associated with the memory are felt in the present moment.
Objective and Subjective Wings
To look at things objectively, we step away from our history and emotions to look at something as if it is happening to anyone. Objectively, we see things in a larger context that includes our self, the environment, other people, and their perspectives.
You can think of the subjective and objective points of view as the two wings of a bird. Both are necessary for flight, and to be effective they must flap together. The art of being human includes accepting and coordinating the two points of view.
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